Flirtchats
Verwundbar im Netz
Netze der Verwundbarkeit
Realität
Fantasie
Worte
Schöne Worte
Viele Gemeinsamkeiten
Auf einmal ist da ein realer Mensch!
Und die Chemie stimmt nicht.
Einfaches Kürzel,
komplizierter Inhalt
Biochemie
Das ich gerne deine Texte lese,
mit deinen Problemen sympathisiere,
dein Bild mag,
heißt leider nicht, das es funkt.
Wieder, einfaches Kürzel,
komplizierter Inhalt.
Das Blitzen in den Augen,
das Kribbeln im Bauch,
das Berührenwollen.
Es ist nicht da.
Etwa wie ein Programm herunterladen,
es funktioniert aber nicht, weil irgendwo eine Schaltung nicht stimmt.
Und so verletzbar.
Schnell sind die Kontakte abgebrochen.
Ein falsches Wort,
einmal nicht rechtzeitig gemeldet.
Weg, einfach weg.
Und häufig noch nicht mal ein Gedanke daran, was eigentlich schief gelaufen ist.
Austausch Bar
Das ist FS oder auch jedes andere Partnersuch-Programm
Erfahrungen
Um so älter, um so mehr, umso mehr Hindernisse auf dem Weg zum Du.
Verbitterung
Auch ein Hindernis. Wohl das Größte.
Wer noch nicht verziehen hat, weder sich selbst , noch dem ehemals Anderen, ist nicht frei.
Wer nicht frei ist, kann den neuen Anderen nicht sehen.
Verwechselt ihn mit dem alten Anderen.
Hass auf das jeweils andere Geschlecht.
Nicht mehr vertrauen können.
Aber die Hoffnung, dass da doch noch jemand ist, der das Vertrauen verdient.
Nicht tot zu kriegen, gott-sei-dank!
So viele Umwege die gegangen werden müssen, bis man den Anderen wieder wirklich sehen kann.
So wenig Zeit übrig um alle Wege zu gehen.
Lauren's Best Lines
Verwundbar im Netz
Netze der Verwundbarkeit
Realität
Fantasie
Worte
Schöne Worte
Viele Gemeinsamkeiten
Auf einmal ist da ein realer Mensch!
Und die Chemie stimmt nicht.
Einfaches Kürzel,
komplizierter Inhalt
Biochemie
Das ich gerne deine Texte lese,
mit deinen Problemen sympathisiere,
dein Bild mag,
heißt leider nicht, das es funkt.
Wieder, einfaches Kürzel,
komplizierter Inhalt.
Das Blitzen in den Augen,
das Kribbeln im Bauch,
das Berührenwollen.
Es ist nicht da.
Etwa wie ein Programm herunterladen,
es funktioniert aber nicht, weil irgendwo eine Schaltung nicht stimmt.
Und so verletzbar.
Schnell sind die Kontakte abgebrochen.
Ein falsches Wort,
einmal nicht rechtzeitig gemeldet.
Weg, einfach weg.
Und häufig noch nicht mal ein Gedanke daran, was eigentlich schief gelaufen ist.
Austausch Bar
Das ist FS oder auch jedes andere Partnersuch-Programm
Erfahrungen
Um so älter, um so mehr, umso mehr Hindernisse auf dem Weg zum Du.
Verbitterung
Auch ein Hindernis. Wohl das Größte.
Wer noch nicht verziehen hat, weder sich selbst , noch dem ehemals Anderen, ist nicht frei.
Wer nicht frei ist, kann den neuen Anderen nicht sehen.
Verwechselt ihn mit dem alten Anderen.
Hass auf das jeweils andere Geschlecht.
Nicht mehr vertrauen können.
Aber die Hoffnung, dass da doch noch jemand ist, der das Vertrauen verdient.
Nicht tot zu kriegen, gott-sei-dank!
So viele Umwege die gegangen werden müssen, bis man den Anderen wieder wirklich sehen kann.
So wenig Zeit übrig um alle Wege zu gehen.
Lauren's Best Lines
1 Kommentar:
So sieht das mein amerikanischer Freund, der gerade auf der anderen Seite des Atlantiks weilt und den ich als (fast) ersten im Flirt Chat kennen- und schätzen gelernt habe:
Last will and testament, internet dating / web dating
It’s been an interesting year with meeting women on the web. Fortunately, there has been little pain – meaning I think I have caused little pain and nevertheless met some wonderful people. It is a very bizarre situation.
It used to be that family and friends arranged relationships and then came 19th century romanticism and shortly after this the Hollywood epitome of individualistic romantic love seeking. The web is a combination of past, present and probably future.
An example: Janet (name changed) is the friend of a friend of mine who has known her since they were 13. Both got married (to other partners), were divorced, married again etc. Janet is now single again, has had bouts of ovulary cancer, and has tried to find a new partner on the web. She’s had no success.
The reason claims my friend is that older men (let’s say over 50) are looking for younger healthy women. This seems obvious at first sight. But it has always been the case in many cultures, especially in Puritan New England, that wealthy widows are quite desired objects for a marriage, where “carnal” desires do not play the main role.
The problem is that on the web we present ourselves as commercial artefacts as dictated by our Hollywood/fashion/health fanaticism market society. Blemishes, whether they are relatively superficial like wrinkles on your neck or more serious like an illness such as a cancer that is not seen in a snapshot play a major role in turning down a prospective friend or partner. In addition it seems that many participants on the web market want the whole cake (a new partner “for life”) even though many have gone through more than one failed marriage.
Women get the short end of the stick in this situation because they’ve been marketed (and market themselves) as youthful desirable objects of beauty and lust (look at the fashion adds in any Sunday Times). Men, the wealthier and more commercially successful they are, are of course the main beneficiaries of this system, the pashas and tribal leaders of our society. And what woman over 40 who is slowly but inadvertently going overripe can be blamed for choosing a man over 60 who provides immense material comfort with minimal sexual demands (in most cases; yet even the raunchiest male sexual desires can be satisfied in less the 15 minutes). This means that the less materially well-off older gentlemen will also be disadvantaged if they try to play the game under the prevailing rules.
If a woman over 60 who is not marketable in the above described romantic atmosphere becomes too inflexible in her desire for a “lasting” partnership, she will end up in a vacuum, having no relationship with the opposite sex at all. This woman probably has friendly relationships with some men already; she just doesn’t realize that these relationships might be the best she can experience. Maybe she takes part in some church-related activity or has a hobby where she deals with males having similar interests. She should try to deepen these interests on her web searches.
One female, whose snapshot said little to me, started right off telling me that if we were to have a “meaningful, permanent, loving” relationship I would have to communicate more “seriously” with her. How can somebody who has lived an open unprotected life, experienced a marriage with children suddenly become romantically serious with a stranger? That’s as inane as falling in love with a model for Macy’s in the fashion section. I told her as much and she felt insulted. She wanted all of me without even knowing who I am. She said I could take my humor somewhere else.
Another woman became fascinated by my past and way of life. We write each other, sometimes go out with each other, but with the tacit understanding that we (probably) will never have any kind of sexual relationship. I know that even if I found a lusty tart, who would be willing to let me nibble on her, that a full communicative relation would never develop. This is certainly not the most unfortunate thing that could happen to me. A serious case of lung, prostrate or colon cancer would be more life inhibiting.
Another point: humans like most primates are polygamous even if they live a monogamous family life. It’s certainly no accident that the bible tells us not to lust after our neighbor’s wife. All those Israelites were quite a horny tribe needing a powerful all-demanding Middle Eastern monotheistic Yahweh to curb their desires. As opposed to Calvinists, they at least permitted some form of polygamous outlet, albeit only for males. Most of us, though, won’t get the cake we think we desire. Harold and Maude represent really a “dream” couple, and Maude knew this best. Most males don’t have the power of David to pick their neighbor’s wife sunning herself on the roof and then send her husband off to his death in battle. It’s also not the nice thing to do, as God told David quite explicitly.
We should be happy that we even have the chance now to communicate with people that without the web we never would have known. You might call this restrained polygamy. In general, females seem to be able to live various forms of relationships with males without sliding into complete possessiveness. That’s why it is self-defeating to seek a “complete” relationship on the web when we are getting near the end of the yardstick. Young people will have an easier job because their minds and bodies are more appealing fruits than our late summer organisms, although we have much more experience to – hopefully – communicate with humor.
The danger we slide into is being too positioned, bogged down (“festgefahren” as the Germans say) in our desires and demands that we lose sight of what people of our age or near our age have to offer in terms of experience. It is difficult to communicate with a woman who is of similar age as my grown-up children, simply because she probably is on the same level of experience as my children.
If she has grown up children of her own, then she at least knows what I’ve gone through and am still dealing with. That’s why it’s important to read the small print (like “separated, two children, remarriage not necessary”). But, yes, an attractive face will usually get the switch turned on easier. That’s why there’s so much deception in web contacts concerning age, appearance, wealth and other factors. Deception might be the most developed mechanism that we have inherited from other primates and mammals, and it would be naïve to enter the web without factoring this in. Didn’t we learn this at dancing school?
Kommentar veröffentlichen